Facebook, Cancer, and Trust.

This thing called "facebook" is so interesting. Its grasp spans from middle school kids to our gray haired friends that we call our grandparents. The craziest part about it is the information that is shared. Some of us put our phone numbers, addresses, and other privy information. Which I think instills a lot of trust in the people that we choose to "friend."

One very interesting thing was shared with me via message on facebook was my friend Anthony who had a prayer request. His words were: "First off I want to thank everyone who has been praying for my family and our business. Things are still very much up in the air regarding this whole law suit right now. But that is not why I am writing. Instead I want to ask everyone for prayer for some close friends of my family.

There names are the Nicks. I had sent out a prayer request to some people a while ago in regards to there son Johnathan. Johnathan is 16 years old and was diagnosed with testicular cancer about a year ago. Him and his family have been battling this cancer for almost a year now trying everything from chemo therapy to newer treatments. Within the past week, Johnathan's health has declined. He developed pneumonia which his body has been unable to fight and sadly, cancer took his life this morning. His family is a family of incredible faith and I know this will draw them closer to the Lord, but I also know that this is something that is going to be very difficult for them. This is a letter in which Johnathan's older brother Zach wrote to everyone just before his brother passed away this morning:

'In the distance there is the ocean, a cool breeze is coming off of it, people are moving and going about their daily routines on this 18th day of June 2009. It is a normal day by all means. Yet I watch my brother, he was my first brother, I was seven when he was born, and I care greatly for him, as his older brother and as his friend.

As you all know, he has done many treatments to beat this cancer. He started with chemo therapy last July when he was diagnosed, and he has done handfuls of other treatments. When his cancer had not completely diminished and came back in October, he then tried a host of other therapies: such as ozone blood therapy, high doses of intravenous anti-oxidants, vitamins, minerals, even another rigorous protocol of chemo, miracle herbs, tonics, tinctures and machines... All to no success in killing the cancer.

I have been here with both him and my mom watching these circumstances unfold. I have watched my parents spend tens of thousands of dollars monthly to try and cure him. We are not wealthy. Debt and generosity of others have allowed us to continue thus far. I have watched the love of his family pour continuously upon him. I have seen the love and giving of others top our hearts and allow us to be here now. (Our entire family is here now!) I have watched my mother, father, sister and my family sacrifice any life they might be living now in order to drop everything and come together and work to help him, with my father and sister at home, taking care of the family and things, and my mother and I here, we are doing what we must, separated but united as ever in spirit. Having given up all selfish desires to pursue what we want in this life, in order to give to the life of someone who we love very dearly. That's not to say that I haven't been selfish and uncaring at many times along that way, I have learned a lot and grown up a lot. We all have.

Jonathan and I both bow before to same God. To tell you about him, our God is not a God whose power comes from within our own power or our hearts or our energy. Our God is not mother earth. Our God is not the energy that surrounds us and makes us up. He is not cosmic energy from living things (plants or animals) or energy from the stars. He is not created from an idol or ritual. He is not created by the broken romantic ideas of human writing, interpretation and understand. He is not an idea of enlightenment. He is not a Tibetan philosophy or idea. And He is not "whatever works for you"... Our God is the living God. There is only one. He is who He is. An entity unto Himself, who does according to his will. Every person who was, is, or shall ever be, will bow on their knees before Him.

There was once the great king of the Babylon, Nebuchadnezzar, who was king of kings, ruler of vast lands and nations, had great wealth, strength, power, and ruled much of the world at that time. Our God made himself known to him by taking Nebuchadnezzar's sanity from him because he was vane and prideful and said, "I have built for the house of the kingdom by my power, and for the honor of my majesty. And while the word was in the king's mouth, here fell a voice from heaven, saying, 'O king Nebuchnezzar, to you it is spoken;...'" (Daniel 4) ..and his kingdom was taken, he was driven away from the people and made to eat grass like the oxen: The great king later said:

"At the end of that time, I, Nebuchadnezzar, raised my eyes toward heaven, and my sanity was restored. Then I praised the Most High; I honored and glorified him who lives forever.His dominion is an eternal dominion;His kingdom endures from generation to generation.

All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing. He does as he pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of the earth. No one can hold back his hand or say to him: "What have you done?"

At the same time that my sanity was restored, my honor and splendor were returned to me for the glory of my kingdom. My advisers and nobles sought me out, and I was restored to my throne and became even greater than before. Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and exalt and glorify the King of heaven, because everything he does is right and all his ways are just. And those who walk in pride he is able to humble." (Written in the book of Daniel 4)

Right now Jonathan is probably around 75 pounds, he has grown since October, he's about as tall as me, 5'10" :-). The picture speaks a thousand words about his condition. This morning the doctor said his liver enzymes and biliruben levels are sky high (liver function). He has much blood in his urine, and water retention is horrible in his feet, legs and stomach (kidneys). I watch as my brother tries to clear his throat, he cannot. The fluid and congestion is thick and binding. He now doesn't want any fluid to drink. He can't drink his juices. Just wetting his lips with water and trying to faintly swallow a few drops is all he can do. ...I know, though, that he will be fine. When asked about his condition, he just says, 'I'm going to be ok, don't worry, I'm fine' and gives a weak smile. Now, he wants to sleep and doesn't like to be disturbed. I watch his chest slowly rise and fall, I hear him give a little murmur every now and then. Only moving to pick at some Elmer's glue from his hands to keep occupied or to briefly look around and smile. He is one of the most beautiful persons I have ever gotten the privilege to know. Just look at the picture.

I know though, that our God is a God without boundaries, he is a God who heals the sick, and He is full of mercy, He is upright and forever worthy to be worshipped. His power is unrestricted, His voice is like thousands of waters, His face like the shining of the sun. He will do according to His will and move according to His own hand, that all may know that He is God. Death is just a passage to kneel before him for those who have a relationship with him through his son who came 2000 years ago, Jesus. I now feel no fear of death for my brother, nor for myself when the time comes. It is by Him, and Him alone that we believe. And that a healing might still be permitted for a boy who has been slowly declining and dying since July 2008. At this point there is no way other than the touch of God himself that can bring back my brother, my friend, a son of the Most High. For he is dying, and there is nothing they can do for him. Blessed be the name of the Lord through this. He will see that through, when this is all done.

- Zachariah'

I just ask and urge you as brothers and sisters in Christ to keep this family in your prayers. I know they will need the prayer and support of fellow believers to make it through these hard time. Thank you all in advance and God bless.You brother in Christ- Anthony"

Not only is this a beautiful picture of a brother who loves and cares for his younger brother. This is an example of how much trust Zach had in Anthony, and Anthony had in all that he sent the message to you, and that I have in you.

The rest of the letter is open for interpretation.

mountain

Hey guys this is a piece I call "mountain". I would love to have all of your feedback, and even have a discussion about it.

who are we to say what a mountain or a hill is,
or a lake contrasting the ocean and it's fizz?
aren't we all walking this road so hard,
where each and everyone of our feet are scarred?
as you may have learned we aren't all the same,
but isn't it the differences on this earth that give each man a name?
so "stand and feel your worth"
before each of us goes back into the dirt
and please understand that not every man has the same eyes to see
to look upon the climb and its great peak

Empire.

I realize life isn't always about having the nicest cars, houses, popularity, but it is really about experiences and people. I guarantee when you are on your death bed one day, you will not think once about things of this world.

And with that, it leaves me wondering, if I am not going to remember these things, certainly people will not remember them about me either. I think the things will stick our most are who was always there when no one else was, or who always never brought people down, but always lifted them up.

Too tie this thing down, I don't we should make our Empires on earth, but I think we should make them in our and others hearts.

I think Fight Club said it best:
"I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War is a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."

I leave you with a song. Follow this link: http://www.last.fm/music/As+Cities+Burn/_/Empire

Too tired to sleep.

Hey guys, I am sorry I haven't been around in a while. Lately I have thought things have gotten better, but they have done the inverse. As my life is now inverted. I have picked up a lot of responsibility, in an attempt to avoid my home life. Yet for some reason, it still feels so empty. I am basically between getting kicked out of my house, and choosing to move out. Which doesn't make sense to me (I'm not that horrible am I?). Needless to say this is a crossroads, and my hope is too one day move past these and move into what I was created to be...

Seven Years

Saosin wrote a song many years ago, I believe it was recorded in 2003, it is called Seven Years.

Here are the lyrics:

Taking on seven years

That holy ghost had left alone

Test my arms, kick like crazy

And I've been trying way too long

Only pushed away off to fight you

Now I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm not sure

Getting off my chest,

the story ends

I would find a way without

(Tell him his eyes see too clear)

I would find a way without you

(Tell him his eyes see too clear)

That mistake was gold

And I know that without you

It's something that I could never do

That was why, staple the eyes and

Seven dates for me to sell machines

And tear on

Seven years you assured me

That I'd be fine if I complied

Only pushed away off to fight you

Now I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm not sure

Getting off my chest, the story ends

I would find a way without

(Tell him his eyes see too clear)

I would find a way without you

(Tell him his eyes see too clear)

That mistake was gold

And I know that without you

It's something that I could never do

That was why Staple the eyes and

Seven dates for me to sell machines

And tear on

Sorry I'm Sorry, I'm sorry

Don't treat me, I'm to blame

Don't treat me like I ever accused you

I often question the meaning of these lyrics. I have heard endless interpretations. However I have decided I am going to apply it to my own life, regardless of what anyone thinks .

For me it would be a battle with my faith. I don't think that I have had it as bad as him, but he talks about testing his arms and kicking like crazy, to me that represents struggle. Almost like if you can't swim, you just flail around in the water in attempt to not drown(I had a near death experience in a lake). When he says he "Only pushed away off to fight you", to me that represents sin. When I am sin, I am usually relying on something other than God to help me stay afloat. Therefor I am pushing away from him, and fighting him.

"I would find a way without
(Tell him his eyes see too clear)
I would find a way without you
(Tell him his eyes see too clear)

That mistake was gold
And I know that without you
It's something that I could never do"

This part is interesting, because I see it as duality. There are times when I go from being self reliant and having all the answers, to being humble and saying I can't live without God.

"Sorry I'm Sorry, I'm sorry
Don't treat me, I'm to blame
Don't treat me like I ever accused you"

This part also has allot of the duality that I mentioned before. Self reliance verses Absolute dependency.

Ultimately I think we can all relate to this in one way or another.

With that said, I shall take my leave.

Cheers,

Collin

Coffee Anyone?

Interesting story, I am sitting here at Novo Coffee only to find myself sipping on a raspberry mocha, surrounded by some of my best friends, enjoying the dialogue happening between two older ladies, sitting only a couple of tables away from us. These ladies were talking about men that they have dated, or are dating(please keep in mind they are probably in their 60's). Sort of interesting hearing a couple of ladies such as themselves discussing such a thing.

Besides that, I always love coming to Novo, because I always find someone I know. Just today I moseyed my way into Novo with my close friend Chris, only to find some other great people; Sean, Lance, and Rachel sitting their doing homework, blogging, and learning Spanish. Shortly upon arriving, our friend Tommy trudged in, followed by Sammy Jo, Danielle, and Miles.
Funny how that works out =].

Well I shall leave you with the moral of this story...Always come into Novo with friends, especially when there are old ladies discussing dating.

Cheers,
Collin

Working at Waterworld....

For those who don't know, I am an employee of the fine company of waterworld. Now before I continue, let me answer the FAQ's
1) Can you get me in free?
A)If you like me enough to not get me fired, then no. However I can get a limited number of people in for 1/2 price.
2) Can you give me free stuff when you are working.
A) Refer back to the first part of the answer of question 2.
3) Do you plan on hooking up with any of the cute girls who come into the park?
A) We shall see what happens.

Now that we are through that lets get to the synopsis.
My favorite part about the job is that we get awesome blue short shorts. The not so great part is that those awesome blue short shorts have the netting that you would find in old fashioned swim trunks. You know the stuff that makes you chafe to the max.

Well, I shall continue this little post later. Because right now I have a celebration to attend.

Cheers.